Lazy summer musings...
(This is long!) I am only teaching one class for the college this summer, and barely doing that. Tate and I are working hard to finish second grade before mid-August. I can take him to work with me in the fall, but since I tutor at a 3-5 grade center, well, you see the problem. He needs to be able to "do" the third grade work. I don't think he'll actually do much, but I do need him to be able to go to the third grade class at least a half day a week. So we press on to be sure his reading and math skills are ready. But that sounds so different than what is actually going on around here. Lots of fun field trips and playing at home!
Here is Tate "studying":
And here is Sam doing "PE" at a Wing family thing. He was fearless on this thing! I was very proud. I tried to show off and nearly threw my back out. Wasn't I just in gymnastics the other day??
With cousins at the same party: Makayla, Mike, Sam and you can't see Lacey but she is riding too. They also had a huge slide into the lake, a trampoline in the middle, a zip line which Miranda and I managed to break, and a canoe which Tate enjoyed.
Here we are finishing up our unit on Medieval Times at the Renaissance Fair. We took tons of pictures, but lets just say it was VERY AUTHENTIC. The period dress, the drinking, etc. I am thanking God I was born in 1975 and not 1475. My breasts would never have supported the dresses. My innocent children have seen their first and last Renaissance Fair, since most of the boobs were at eye level to my six year old. But I am still glad we went. Jousting, drama, shooting bows and arrows, pirates, meeting Henry VIII, all the things we've studied the last few months. Chris didn't go, and I am glad. Miranda and Matt did go, and I am glad it was Miranda with me. She could appreciate the big boob shock with me!
Sam in the sword fight. He thinks he won, good enough for us!
Tate in about the only picture without boobs everywhere. And not mine.
Back home.... My little home is becoming what I have always hoped it would: A little "school" with happy chatter, lots of games, lots of playing, and lots and lots and lots of books, reading, puzzles, discussions, and growing. I read "I am living my dream of being a wife and mother" in Sarah's newsletter last year, and it made me stop and think. I never had a dream of being a stay-at-home wife and mom, but I did always hope I'd have a dead-sexy tall husband, and homeschool lots of children! I just never worked out all the details. I'm glad I didn't try to. I DID dream of so many kids that they'd be underfoot everyway you looked! I dreamed of long nights by the fire, reading stories and then talking about them, debating current events and discussing Biblical history around the breakfast table. Yesterday, I looked around at our living room - where we do a whole lot of living! - and I realized, God has given me the desires of my heart. I have Chris, Tate and Sam (no more, but not for lack of trying!), but they are always underfoot! (har har!!) They are more than I could wish for....although a little girl wouldn't kill us!
Tate reading Morris the Moose.
I am growing, too. I find myself learning to relax on outwards and work a little harder on inners. (Is that a word?) Being a parent and seeing yourself so perfectly (err... something...) reflected every day will do that to you. I love the saying I read in some home school book:
"You can teach your children everything you know, and they will still become who you are."
Yikes! Chris and I remind each other of that often. Especially when our perfect children are fighting, throwing temper tantrums, or complaining. All we can think is, "Wow. I didn't realize that is what I act like!" Thats the thing with homeschooling and not having TV.... there is no one else to blame character flaws on! As I watch our boys grow, I also have come to a much deeper place in my faith. I certainly don't have all the answers, but time and time again, I see that God does. (even the answers I don't agree with... yet) Just when I think I may "deserve a break" for all my years of hard and intense Bible study, I find myself back to a place where I long to know God more and more. Where I .... must... have Him be a bigger presence in this family. The Bible stories I memorized sermon notes to and translated in college sound so different when four big blue eyes are opened, jaws are dropped, and they beg to hear more. ......
"Did David's army kill the bad guys? ....Did God get mad at Pharoah for killing the babies!? I want to tell God to get them!! ...Samuel did WHAT!!??? He stabbed the evil king? YEAH!!!" Notice the war theme in all the stories!?? They are boys!
The other morning over oatmeal, Tate was jumping up and down and slobbering as I told him about the two guys on the road to Emmaus. I taught that passage once for a large crowd in California (I use the word "teach" here for my southern Baptist readers). Needless to say, I have it down pretty good. But I can't tell you the difference I felt as I watched Tate's face when I did my best dramatic voice..... "he took the bread, like a piece of wonder bread... then he prayed over it, then he tore it into pieces.... and he reached his hand across the table and handed it to them..... (imagine jumping and squealing!!) ...... then..... POOF! He disappeared the instant they realized it was..... JESUS!!!" Tate screamed: "Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!! I knew it was Jesus! I knew it would be him!! He is alive but they didn't know it!! They know it now!! What did they do? Tell me Mom, what did they do!?" So I asked him as he bounced around his chair, "What would you do?" "Tell everybody! Ahhhh!!" And so it goes. If that story seems fuzzy to you and you want to look it up like my CA friends did, write me and I'll point you in the right direction. Its there.
I have been studying Daniel again, too. My brother is trying to straighten out world history with Biblical history, which is, hands down, my most favorite thing in the whole world to do. I imagine that is what heaven will be like. Endless Bible studies taught by whoever is the star. We can even have class discussion. I'll be the best student, raising my hand, "Paul, could you please descibe the bright light in more detail?" So, back to earth, I am reviewing lots to help Micah with quick lessons. I can't get over Daniel, can you? Germaine is doing it too in China, which is fun. I love the internet. I do wish sometimes though that we could email God real quick. Its so easy to feel connected with people around the world, I just thought He could set up a quick service. Like on Bruce Almighty. har har
Well now for the struggles. Two of them. One, Materialism. I thought, I mean would've bet on, I didn't suffer from this one. Growing up, college, CA, overseas, I didn't give it much notice. But now I see it was there, just covered up a bit. Yuck. Just because you don't deal with something, well that usually means God knows you couldn't handle it! Not, as I supposed, that I was so mature and spiritual! God protected me that whole time because He knew how I really face the temptations any younger. I didn't do so hot even lately. I knew moving home to the Materialism Capital of the History of the Human Race would present challenges, but I didn't realize how quickly I would get knocked down. Now I am fighting back, but struggling.
The thing is, when you are so caught up in stuff, no matter how harmless stuff is, it keeps you less focused on what really matters. I know you know this, I am just saying it anyway.
The other struggle, I really want more kids. I find myself happy but... can I use the word.... coveting, maybe a little??.... the families I know enjoying pregnancies again and twins, etc.... I have heard with my own ears from two different parents with more little blessings in their homes recently: "I go to work to be away from her for a while." And "Trust me, you DON'T want more kids." These were off-the-cuff comments, and I know they probably didn't even mean what they said. BUT. I think you are blessed, and so does God! If you find yourself tempted to pray for me about my "struggles," let's instead keep our perspectives and pray for our world. There are so many right now, as I sit with my healthy, happy family hooked up to my high speed internet with my SUV in my attached garage with an automatic door opener shoving chips into my mouth, who don't have enough to eat, a place to sleep, or worse, the knowledge that they are loved and created by a God who is CRAZY about them. Here is my favorite quote, then I'm going to go read to Tate and let him read to me, while we snuggle with Sammy and listen to the rain....
"This is the true joy of life: the being used up for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clot of ailments and grievances, complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy."
George Bernard Shaw
Blessing from a little clot seeking to become a mighty, unstoppable force of change in our world!
